Thanks for joining me.  My name is Jamie Quarto and I am the author of Doing It Jamie Style.  DIJS is a lifestyle blog written by me personally.  I am as eclectic as there are stars in the universe so you’ll never know what I’ll write about next.  I am all about living life to the beat of my own drum and encourage others not to be afraid to do so.

Jamie 1Headshot Rincon Mountain Soap Co

Please, get comfortable on my porch swing chair and enjoy the read.

You can also get to know me better HERE.

The Black Hole: Defeat Is Not Permanent

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At this point and time in my life, there are no words said better than those spoken by the late and great American poet, singer, memoirist, and female civil rights activist, Maya Angelou.  Which goes as follows:

  • “Life is full of many defeats and it is useful to remember that defeat is not permanent.  We can always keep trying.  To be defeated means that you have given up and have let bitterness rule your heart.  Do not let your defeats crush you.  Instead, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.”


In 52 years I have endured a plethora of defeats.  Often at times falling into the jaws of what I call the black hole of dark defeatism that literally took me to the brink of death a time or two.  Everyone has a story, everyone has met defeat plenty of times and there will be many more to come.

I recognize the terms such as those often voiced to someone who is in “defeat mode” as they are reaching out for understanding, to be a defeat in its own entirety.   Words like….

  • Get over it
  • Everyone has problems
  • Buck up
  • Deal with it
  • Move on
  • I’ve been through that, I got over it…….. and so on and so forth

Watch What You Say Pic

If you are reading this and have said these things to another look at it from a different point of perspective.  What if this was you in the exact moment defeat hit you?  How would it feel to have it said to you, and, you probably have.

A Person Facing Defeat Needs:

  • Understanding
  • Validation
  • Affirmation
  • Time To Heal or Deal
  • Someone To Check In A Couple Times A Week (having just one person like this can save a life)

Someone who has entered what I call the “black hole phase” often has gone beyond the superficial defeat and “brushing it off”.  They can fall into a depressive state that can progress.  If it takes longer than a couple of weeks and you are still feeling this way it may be time to talk it out with an impartial person.

no perm

Defeat is not permanent.  It will feel like it, it will hurt, it will make you angry and frustrated, these are the emotions you need to FEEL so you can beat it.  Never say never, and never give up.

 Until Next Time

ᒍᗩᗰIE [̲̅d̲̅][̲̅o̲̅][̲̅i̲̅][̲̅n̲̅][̲̅g̲̅] [̲̅i̲̅][̲̅t̲̅] [̲̅j̲̅][̲̅a̲̅][̲̅m̲̅][̲̅i̲̅][̲̅e̲̅] [̲̅s̲̅][̲̅t̲̅][̲̅y̲̅][̲̅l̲̅][̲̅e̲̅]

Leave me a comment on ways you cope with a defeat.  What helps you?






Coffee and Roses: The Garden Experiement

If you love to grow roses and are a coffee drinker this gardening experiment I did will be right up your alley!  Coffee and roses, what’s not to love right?  Makes me kinda giddy all over thinking about them as a couple.  Hey, they say, opposites attract.

Three years ago I came across an article about using spent coffee grounds as a natural fertilizer for roses because coffee is high in nitrogen, plus to perform their best roses need neutrality to acidic soil.  This means by adding the grounds it will aid in the pH balance from neutral to acidic which roses thrive on and I’ve experienced it first hand.  It also helps loosen the soil, which gives the roots more space to grow and helps to deliver the nutrients they need to survive.

DIJS Coffee Rose Blog Post 442018

I live in Tucson, Arizona which falls under Zone 9 Gardening  (if you want to know yours click here) and growing things here is a huge challenge but can be done.  Above is this year’s first bloom of “Queenie” our oldest rose bush who came with our home 8 years ago.  Queenie always had nice soft pink blooms, rather small, and never had a fragrance other than a “peppery” smell.  I decided to take that articles advice to see if I could improve on my rose bush.  Afterall, I am a coffee-o-holic so grounds are never short supplied at my house.

In the Fall of 2016, this mad scientist started saving coffee grounds.  Trust me when I say in my household it doesn’t take long.  I keep a large bowl on my countertop once the coffee is made, I empty filter from grounds into the bowl.  That’s it, seriously.  I let those grounds pile up, take the bowl outside and mix it into a little fresh garden soil (you don’t have to, just something I do) and I use three handfuls of the mixture around the base of the rose bush close to the root evenly than do a drip soak to allow the coffee to seep into the ground.  I do this twice a month.

Coffee Rose Blog Post 3

2016 – Spring.  I noticed my rose leaves were getting a deeper green color with some shine.  Prior to the experiment, they were dull green with yellowish edges and semi-lifeless. Okay, improvement so let’s keep going.  The first bloom of the season came along, Queenie produced about 3/4 more blooms! Still no scent improvement.  Continued coffee treatment for 6 months then the hard part…I stopped … experiment after all.  Now to wait and see.

2017 – Queenie still gets her normal rose feed, water, and conversation with me but no coffee.  She went back to being pretty but sad looking compared to 2016.  Blooms were sparse, leaves green but no shine, back to how she was prior to 2016. 😦 just a bit better.

2018 – I started the coffee fertilization again in January 2018.  Queenie had her first bloom April 2, 2018, she apparently is one happy rosie lady.  She made an amazing transformation and I must say, she loves coffee as much as I do and I started all my roses on the coffee regimen.  Look at the leaves, shiny, healthy and perky.  I never knew she had a two-tone pink coloration since I’d never seen it before and the coffee brought that out!  You can see for yourself.  The best part….scent!  OMGosh in 8 years all I smelled was a pepper like scent and now she has a soft rosie fragrance.   I call the experiment a success, don’t you?


  • One way is to just put the coffee grinds in a compost heap with other waste from your kitchen, sprinkling the mixture around the roses.
  • Another method is to just sprinkle plain, dried up grounds at the base of your roses.
  • Additionally, you can mix 3 parts coffee grounds with 1 part wood ash to mix into the soil around the plants.
  • Finally, you can mix about a 1/2 pound of used grounds with 5 gallons of water for a mixture you can pour on the rose bushes about twice a month.  (My now preferred choice)

Oh and remember this, astonishingly as it may seem, bugs and pests are repelled by coffee grounds. Coffee is one of the few treats we enjoy that the pests won’t try to snag from our kitchens, or gardens, for themselves. Lovin’ it.

Be Well,

~J~ from Doing It Jamie Style

P.S. Speak with your local garden nursery for more advice on this tip and many others for your garden.  They’ll be happy you asked them!